Shift Your Thinking – Change Your Life!
Learn How to Use Entrepreneurial Thinking to Transform Your Work & Life
Presented by: Coach Deb Bailey
When: Tuesday, December 15th
Time: 8:00 pm EST
Where: From any phone, anywhere you happen to be!
Register: http://www.dbaileycoach.com/Workshops.html
*Are you anxious about what’s coming up in the coming year?
*Have you experienced a job loss, or are you just hanging on, “keeping your head down” and hoping for the best?
*Are you worried that you’re too old to start over?
Join me for part one of a three-part series where you’ll discover how you can apply the traits of successful entrepreneurs to your life. It doesn’t matter if you don’t plan to start a business anytime soon. Having an entrepreneurial mindset is not just for entrepreneurs!
Register: http://www.dbaileycoach.com/Workshops.html
Have a specific situation that’s causing frustration and sleepless nights? Three participants will have the opportunity to get personal attention during the call. Those spots will be first-come, first-served, so if you want to be selected, be sure to respond right away when you receive the email with the call-in instructions.
Even if you don’t get the opportunitity to work with me directly on the call, at the end of the hour you’ll know how to:
*Create a vision for your success in your work and/or business
*Transfer your current skills into a new career or line of work
*Apply strategies to become more entrepreneurial in how you manage your work
*Get rid of the stigma of being looked at as “too old” to change to a new career path
*Take steps to get what you want today instead of waiting and hoping things get better on their own!
Register: http://www.dbaileycoach.com/Workshops.html
If you can’t make the call live, you’ll receive access to the recording. But, I recommend that you’re on the call so that you get this valuable information right away!
Please note: Phone lines are limited, so please reserve your spot on the call ASAP.
Part 3 – To Thine Own Self Be True
By Kelli Wilkins
After a few months, I decided it was time to look for another job. I quickly discovered that my old job had given me a skill I couldn’t put on my resume – I was an expert at identifying potentially unhealthy work environments.
Here’s just one example:
After being screamed at by the boss for putting someone into his voicemail when he was on his three-hour lunch, I was told by a female secretary: “Don’t worry. He yells at all of us all the time. You’ll get used to it. You’re new here. If you like your job, you won’t make waves. This is how we do things here. You have to obey him.”
Excuse me? Did she say obey him? When did I go back in time to the 1800s? I really wanted to ask her what the punishment was for not obeying. Beatings? More screaming? Did he have a whip? Did her husband know that her boss verbally abused her on a daily basis? Was he fine with it? Because I sure as hell wasn’t.
I couldn’t leave the building fast enough. But I really shouldn’t have taken it to heart (at least that’s what they told me). After talking to a few of the salesmen in the office (women weren’t allowed to be salespeople) I was told that the boss: “…yells at everyone and treats everyone like crap, but the women get it worse. He doesn’t pull that kind of crap with the guys because he knows we won’t take it.” Lovely! And here I was hoping for Equal Opportunity Misery.
If you like your new job except for a few minor things, great! Stick it out and see how it goes for a few months. But if the boss threatened you (“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay past six and type this letter, or else.”), or insulted you (“What are you, stupid?”), then it’s probably time to go.
And go. Don’t be afraid to leave. Leave for lunch, then call them and tell them to stick it if you have to, but go. Leaving doesn’t hurt. Being out of a bad environment is much better than staying somewhere filled with worry, anxiety, stress, and fear every day.
Give two week’s notice if you feel you won’t be further abused once word gets out that you’ve resigned. Otherwise, quitting on the spot after a public humiliation (or other inexcusable affront) will work just fine. It won’t matter what they say about you once you’re gone, and if you’ve only been there a week or two, you’re not listing the job on your resume anyway.
When I questioned things at my job, I was accused of “putting ideas in people’s heads” and “starting trouble” in the office. Was I advocating a revolution? Only a personal one. Everyone has different boundaries. Ask yourself: What will you stand for? What is your limit? How much is too much? And when do you know when you’ve had enough?
We all have different tolerance levels. Some people are afraid to leave or stand up for themselves. Granted, leaving is easier if you have someplace else to go, but if you find yourself trapped in a bad job, don’t feel like you’re bound by indentured servitude to stay there.
Once, I started a new job right out of college. When I walked in the door on my first day I saw the owner screaming at a female employee. His exact words have stuck with me all these years: “Are you so stupid you can’t remember to empty my garbage can when you vacuum my office?” The grown woman was in tears.
Later, when I asked about the incident, I was told: “He does that all the time. She’s been here three years, she’s used to it.” At that moment, I swore I’d never end up that way. After three days of endless shouting, I left – unemployed, but wiser.
Oddly, it was always the women who told me to “accept it” for “the way it was” and not to “make trouble” and “get used to it.” A few times I asked them why. Why should we blindly accept bad behavior and tolerate abuse just because we work there? The men aren’t yelled at and they certainly aren’t forced to vacuum.
They looked at me like I had just landed a spaceship on the front lawn.
Over the years I’ve learned a valuable lesson: When it comes to difficult interviewers and/or employers, you have two choices: rise up and be respected, or leave. There’s no harm in utilizing self-preservation and demonstrating self-respect.
If anything, it’s a liberating, empowering feeling to know that you’re doing what’s right for you, regardless of what anyone else tells you. Everyone has to decide what’s best for themselves in their own time and in their own way. You may not get others to follow your lead, but in the end, you’ll be on a much better path.
Kelli Wilkins is a survivor of several bad jobs and numerous awful interviews. She is a published author and often blends her unusual sense of humor into her stories. To learn more about her writings, visit her website: www.KelliWilkins.com
Part 2 – Always Trust Your Instincts
By Kelli Wilkins
What’s a woman to do when she discovers that she’s on the Interview From Hell? Run? Laugh? Lament? No, just be aware and beware. Some interview questions should tip you off that something is seriously wrong.
Two questions on the top of my “beware” list: “How do you react to being yelled at?” and “Are you okay with cursing and swearing in the office?” (I didn’t tell the woman interviewing me that I generally react by leaving, because the person is obviously irrational and might be better suited to working in the monkey house at the zoo – he’d blend right in.)
If you’re on an interview and anything sets off warning bells in your head, don’t second guess yourself. Always trust your instincts. Take heed if you see people complaining loudly, bosses screaming at employees, managers throwing things, or the interviewer says (while you’re waiting outside her office): “Let me just get rid of this person and I can go to lunch.”
Take these signs to heart. You won’t be happy there.
And always, always take a tour of the building on an interview. If they don’t offer one, ask and see what happens, but don’t accept any job without one. If the interview went well and you like the place, ask to use the bathroom before you leave and nose around.
I know, it sounds silly, but the state of the office will tell you volumes about the employer. Maybe you should be concerned if the bathroom has overflowing toilets and they tell you: “Oh that happens all the time.” And if there is one bathroom the size of a closet for both men and women that reeks to high heaven – run don’t walk – to the nearest exit.
While you’re investigating, try to check out the kitchen area. A refrigerator, a microwave, and a sink with hot and cold running water are not unheard of office luxuries.
If there’s no place to sit and eat your lunch (if you bring it every day instead of going out) what will you do? I once was told: “Everyone sits at their desks and eats – but you still have to answer the phones.”
Thanks! Did I tell you I’m on the raw carrots and celery diet? Crunch, crunch, crunch!
Remember, every interview is a two-way street. You’re interviewing them as much as they’re interviewing you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and be wary if they balk at answering a “normal question” or seem uncomfortable with you asking any questions. Watch out for seemingly innocent phrases sprinkled into the interview, like: “It’ll be nice to have a pretty young woman at the front desk.” (Yes, it’s a real quote!) “How old are you? You don’t look old enough to be…”
Ask yourself if the place is somewhere you want to be every day for eight hours. What perks (if any) apply? If the best (or only) good thing you can say about them is that “They’re close to home.” or “It’s a paycheck.” – it might not be a good move.
Of course, if you want the job, by all means do your best to get it. But don’t settle. You don’t want to trade your peace of mind (or your whole mind) for a paycheck. You can afford to be choosy. After all, it’s your life and you decide how and where to spend your time. Do you want to be in a positive environment where you’ll be happy, or suffering in a hell-hole because you were afraid to say no?
So what happens if you take the job from hell like I did (Actually, I took three, but they were short-lived and gave me great stories to tell!), and after three days find yourself crying at your desk wondering what the heck happened? Do you blame yourself for making a bad choice?
The answer is complicated. Sometimes the job is not what it seems. Maybe you didn’t realize it would be this bad, or they outright lied to get you to work there because nobody else wanted to.
In my case, the truth started to leak out after a few days. I found out from the office gossip that the position I took wasn’t open for two weeks because a woman left to have her baby and never came back. The real story was that six people were in the position over the last six months. They all left after three or four weeks because they couldn’t stand it.
All-too-soon I found out first-hand why people left. After being screamed at by the boss for putting someone into his voicemail when he was on his three-hour lunch, I was told by a female secretary: “Don’t worry. He yells at all of us all the time. You’ll get used to it. You’re new here. If you like your job, you won’t make waves. This is how we do things here. You have to obey him.”
That was all I needed to hear.
Kelli Wilkins is a survivor of several bad jobs and numerous awful interviews. She is a published author and often blends her unusual sense of humor into her stories. To learn more about her writings, visit her website: www.KelliWilkins.com
(Guest blogger Kelli Wilkins has more to say on this topic - and I know you won’t want to miss the conclusion next week!)
Part 1 – Still No Kids, But Thanks For Asking
By Kelli Wilkins
Several years ago, I left a job that was emotionally draining and making me utterly miserable. Everyone was shocked that I made such a bold leap, but the moment I left the place behind, I felt free. I took the summer “off” and devoted my time to writing.
After a few months, I decided it was time to look for another job. I quickly discovered that my old job had given me a skill I couldn’t put on my resume – I was an expert at identifying potentially unhealthy work environments.
It seemed that every time I went on an interview, something strange happened or the interviewer asked a bizarre question. I started paying attention to this new “trend” and wondered if it was just me. Did I have the ability to draw out insane questions from hiring managers? Or did I just apply to “weird” places where nobody else wanted to work? Some of the questions I was asked surprised me, some amused me, and some made me wonder what the heck I was doing there.
What follows is my unusual (yet practical) advice to anyone going on an interview. There are hundreds of books and websites offering interview tips (bring a resume, wear a suit, etc.) but here are a few things I’ve learned first-hand from wallowing in the trenches. For obvious reasons, I won’t give out company names, but all of the quotes and situations are real.
Let’s start with the biggie:
As a woman in the 30-something age bracket, I’m often asked (mostly by other women) if I have children. Now we all know this isn’t a politically correct question, but how does one handle it? Several ideas came to mind, with: “I’m not answering questions you’re not allowed to ask” being the most polite. (I figured “None of your business” might be considered rude.) Interviewers decided to sneak around the issue by giving the “forbidden” question a preamble: “I know I’m not supposed to ask this but…” Well then, why are you asking?
I generally ended up following the old “just say No” advice. But many times, after hearing that I didn’t have children, the interviewers seemed overly concerned about a population decrease and followed up with: “Why not?” or “Are you planning to have any?”
Part of me wanted to answer: “Yeah, as soon as I get home and take off my pantyhose, I’ll start working on that.” Once I asked: “What does that have to do with this job?” The woman didn’t know how to respond.
After numerous rounds of defending my childless state, a friend suggested that I stop wearing my wedding ring to interviews. After all, if they didn’t see the ring, they wouldn’t be curious, right?
Wrong. The question changed to: “Are you married?” If I confessed that I was, then I got the usual “Do you have children?” as a follow up. My friend suggested I try a new answer: “I’m in a committed relationship with my life-partner.” And let them wonder.
Some of the jobs I applied for wanted a salary requirement. Almost everyone knows this is a warning sign. I played it safe and included a minimum salary requirement, thinking that employers knew the definition of the word minimum. Oops, wrong again!
After sitting through a dull interview (Nope, still no kids, but thanks for asking!), the woman interviewing me said: “You indicated your minimum salary requirement in your cover letter, but that’s not in our range. Is that the lowest you can go?”
I wanted to ask her if she knew what minimum meant, but instead I replied, “Yes, actually it is. I need to pay the bills.” (What if I had kids? I wondered. Would they pay more?)
Her response: “And what do you hope is included with that salary?” (I thought money would be nice…)
Since I was on a roll, I decided to ask what benefits were available. I was told: “We have benefits for employees only and it costs $730 a month. You pay for it yourself. We don’t provide anything.”
Wait! My mind shouted. Where’s the benefit in taking their benefits? With that extra-low salary that’s beneath my minimum, I won’t earn anything!
The woman followed up with: “Since you’re married, you can use your husband’s benefits.” Thanks! We’ve come a long way, baby!
Kelli Wilkins is a survivor of several bad jobs and numerous awful interviews. She is a published author and often blends her unusual sense of humor into her stories. To learn more about her writings, visit her website: www.KelliWilkins.com
(Guest blogger Kelli Wilkins has more to share about her experiences – check back next week to read part 2 of her article!)
You may have heard that you should start your business before you quit your job, however, doing both things at the same time can be a huge challenge.
Even if you have the ability to put in hours on the job and in your business, eventually you will have to make the transition into being a full-time entrepreneur if you want your business to grow. Getting that regular paycheck can be very reassuring and give you a feeling of security that will be hard to give up. Having a plan will keep you on track.
1. Pick a date for when you’d like to move into running your business full-time. Set a date that feels comfortable for you.
2. Look at your finances. Do you need a certain amount of money for starting your business? Will you be covered once your regular salary is no longer coming in?
3. Start eliminating debt if you can. You may need to incur debt to invest in your business, so get rid of as much as you can while you still have a regular salary.
4. Keep your family in the know about your plans. It’s best to discuss any concerns now. Don’t wait until you’ve left your job and then have to deal with issues around your decision.
5. Once you are responsible for creating your own income, it won’t be the same as living with a paycheck coming in on a regular (and predictable) schedule. There will be fluctuations in your income. Figure out what money you’ll need in order to provide for your business and living expenses.
6. If you’re working from a home office, being a full-time entrepreneur may mean you’ll be spending a lot of time alone. Start networking and connecting with other entrepreneurs so that you can build a support system before you go out on your own.
7. Create your vision for what you want to accomplish. If you have limiting beliefs they will impact your business success. Need help as you make this transition? Consider getting a business or life coach to support you. All successful people have coaches and/or mentors; they are a critical part of an entrepreneur’s “power team.”
Starting a business takes courage and vision. By becoming a business owner, you are stepping out of the mainstream and stepping into a way of life with limitless potential. When planning this major career transition, give yourself time to plan it properly so that you can insure your business success.
Copyright © 2009 Deborah A. Bailey, DBC Communications LLC
Ask for What You Want
I’m going to keep this short and sweet. If you want something, ask for it. Don’t make excuses, don’t blame other people for not reading your mind and giving it to you – ask.
No doubt you’ve been in situations where you’ve felt that you were constantly disappointed. The thing you wanted did not materialize in the way you’d hoped – the raise, the thank you, the promotion, the new client, the book deal – we could go on and on. It seems that you’re never quite getting what you deserve. You work and work and it doesn’t come together.
However, when it comes to getting what you want, if you don’t ask you probably won’t receive. I remember once telling my coach that I’d never been in a position to negotiate for a larger salary when I was in corporate. She responded by asking me if I’d ever tried to negotiate. I said no, but I probably wouldn’t have been able to get what I wanted anyway.
Was that really true? I have no idea. I never tried, so I can only guess what would’ve happened. But looking back on it now, I realize that I had been reluctant to take the chance and ask for more than I’d been given. My expectation was that I would ask and be rejected, or made to look ridiculous. So, I accepted what I was offered and stayed powerless.
Not asking for what we want can also affect us in business. If we don’t let people know that we want clients, then how can they refer them? If we don’t reach out for advice or support, how will anyone know we need help? Going it alone may be an advantage at times, but at some point it can turn out to be a detriment to our growth if we don’t let people know what we need.
Even if after we ask the answer is no, it’s really okay (though it might not feel that way) because at least we’ll know what the real deal is. Instead of having false expectations of what might happen, we’ll know for sure where we stand. Of course, on the other hand, we may receive even more of what we desire than we expected – but we’ll never know until we ask.
Copyright © 2009 Deborah A. Bailey, DBC Communications LLC
Take the Risk
You know when it’s time to make a change in your career. You can feel the desire for a different kind of life, and you know that what you’re doing right now is not fulfilling. It’s not an easy decision to make, but in the end, you have to consider if you want to stay in a position that will drain your energy and your hopes with each passing day, or take a risk.
Risks aren’t just for people going into business, they can also involve the actions we take everyday. Having low expectations of what we can achieve can lead to us staying safe – and staying stuck. I’ve been asked many times by people still in the corporate world if it’s possible to work for yourself and duplicate your employee salary. Sure it is, but to be honest, why would you want to? Employee salaries are set by many factors that often have little to do with the quality of the work. Wouldn’t you want more once you’re in control of what you receive?
When you decide to take a risk you’ve made a decision to break through what you thought was possible up to that point. You’re going into unfamiliar territory with no idea what will happen after you start out. For some people, this is not only uncomfortable, it’s impossible. They’ll take a step, then pull back once the anxiety level rises and they realize that they don’t have the security of knowing what to expect.
Living in familiar habits is easy – even if they’re negative they’re still familiar. Stepping out when you can’t see what you are stepping into is hard. It takes courage and faith that when you do step out, there will be something solid to support you. It takes belief in yourself and a willingness to get back up again if (and when) you fall down. The one sure way to break through your limiting beliefs is to take a risk.
Copyright © 2009 Deborah A. Bailey, DBC Communications LLC
Put Down Those Bags!
by Coach Deb Bailey
How much baggage are you carrying? Have you created a business that looks just like the corporate world that you escaped from? When I was dreaming of going out on my own, I envisioned having time and freedom to do whatever I wanted. It may seem silly now, but I didn’t consider how much money I wanted to make. All I really wanted was to have time for myself. You see, I was in IT for over 15 years and during that time I worked weekends, nights and holidays. I was one of those people who could be relied on to drop everything and give her all for the team.
As the years passed, I realized that though I was giving my all, my paycheck wasn’t reflecting it. Not mention that I was frequently sick and had little or no social life – other than the occasional Happy Hour. Not that drinking cheap drinks at an Applebee’s or TGIFridays is such a happy event.
What I never considered was that I would end up recreating my work life in my business – long hours, low pay and the occasional Happy Hour. Most of my friends in business do the same thing, so why would I think it anything was wrong?
Yes, when you get started it does require work and often much longer hours than the regular 9-to-5. But sitting at a desk all day and all night is not productive if it does not bring you any income. Back in my job, I was used to just spending hours at the desk, whether my work was productive or not. So, I simply recreated that world. It took me the longest time to feel okay about running errands or doing chores during “work hours.” However, I couldn’t blame my work environment for keeping me confined – I’d done it to myself.
Recently my coach asked me what I’d really rather be focusing on in my business. I answered, “If it was up to me…” She said, “It IS up to you!” That really hit me.
It was up to me to decide – but in my mind I was still the employee waiting to be told what to do next. I’ve often heard that starting a business will bring up all sorts of issues inside of a person. You will discover things about yourself that you never realized was there. I totally agree. It does bring up stuff. Though some of it can be hard to look at, it’s necessary. If you’re struggling to find that freedom you thought you’d have in your business, drop that baggage and free your mind first.
www.dbaileycoach.com
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
5:00 p.m. Pacific time/ 8:00 p.m Eastern time
Regular price: $20
Cost: $0
Most job seekers don’t know how to sell themselves and end up putting forth a poor image to prospective employers. Many have unfocused job searches, incorrectly defined skills and ineffective resumes. Remember lost interviews + personal discouragement = lost income!
You’ll get in-depth information on how to stop making these costly mistakes that are keeping you job search stalled. You’ll also hear bonus tips to get you one step closer to getting your new position!
If you can’t make the call you’ll receive access to the recording. Click on the link below to sign up.
http://www.dbaileycoach.com/job_seeker_teleclass.html
There Are No Limits
